The more boys I meet...

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always imagined my wedding and how it would be. This is a typical girl thing to do, but I took it to the extreme. I know certain details that I want, such as round tables, tulips, and the colors green, purple, and yellow. I've always imagined walking down the isle looking beautiful, skinny, and so very happy. I've imagined walking down that isle, but the person I see is not someone I recognize. I don't know who that person is. I don't know where they are in the world. I don't know if I've met them, or if I will be meeting them soon. They are just one big dumb mystery. And so we enter the conundrums that are relationships.
This is so frustrating.
Rawr on relationships. They just make me want to run far away. They can't be simple, bada-bing, bada-boom, you like me, I like you, deals. No, they have to be super awkward and complicated affairs that make me want to pull my hair out...
Lately, as in the past few months/weeks/days, relationships have really been on my mind. I know, I know, I'm supposed to give it all to God, and trust in His plan. But HOT JAMBALAYA! Do you know how hard that is?! I try every single day, and yet I still seem to keep wondering where my Prince Charming is, and WHO he is. Uggghhhh.
I have this very unrealistic fear...although in my head it is a very legit fear...that someday I will be old, wrinkly, and the CCL. CCL stands for Creepy Cat Lady. Everyone knows a CCL, and you can't help but wonder how they came to be the way they are. Did they ever have someone special in their life? Did they share their lives with someone? How did they end up how they are now? Did they trust God to have a plan for their relationship life? It's sad. I know God has a plan for me, but I really hope and pray that it's not to be a CCL. Although, if it is, I'm going to have to learn to accept it....
Anyway.
I guess where I'm going with this is that I need prayer. I need prayers for contentment. I am so very blessed with amazing friends and family. I have some money, sure I would like more, but I'm not starving, I have a house and a car, I have shelter...I've got it pretty good. God gives me so much. Like they said at small group tonight, God gives me every single breath I take each day. Each one is a gift from him. He doesn't have to give them to me. He could snuff me out as easily as we could blow out a candle. And yet I feel like I'm squandering these gifts by not being content with each breath and always wanting more. More money, more guidance, to know the future. Humans are so like that. God gave us everything, even his ONLY Son. He let his Son DIE for us, and yet we whine because God isn't working on the timetable we want him to.
Good grief...
So, prayers for contentment would be appreciated. I need to stop thinking about the conundrums that are relationships. Especially with certain people of late. Urgh, it's so difficult. But I do not want repeats of the last couple months/years. That would not do myself, or anyone else any good. I do not want to repeat mistakes and things that I've been through. I should know how to avoid that kind of thing by now. I need to stop worrying about what others think as well. If I am going to think about relationships and things, I can't be afraid of the opinions of other people. That got me in trouble last time...Judgements are almost as bad as relationships themselves.
So here it is,
Goal: Stop thinking about relationships. Stop worrying about relationships. Stop over-analyzing every little single thing that people say and do. Stop having one sided conversations with myself on whether to say things or not say things...that makes me sound kinda crazy, but it's so needed. Try very very hard to pray about these problems daily instead of taking them on myself.

Annnnd so as my title states, I would love to quote the lovely Carrie Underwood. She says it much better than I can. And I think this title is always good for a laugh...

The more boys I meet...........the more I love my dog. :)