New Again

Today wasn't too bad of a day. School has become utterly pointless for me. I'm not teaching anymore, so there really is not point in me being there. I'm going to be observing some other classes at some point, so that is good, but other than that I just sit in the back of the room and write letters and grade papers. Only 9 more days left. I graduate in less than 2 weeks! That is so crazy...scary...bittersweet...
Life is changing. I can feel it coming. I'm scared, but I'm excited too. I feel like I'm closing the college chapter of my life and opening the "adult" chapter. God has some awesome plans for me and my future. I just have got to be PATIENT. And it's killing me. This summer seems like it is going to be pretty good. I'm really excited for my missions trips I'm going on. I hope that I can grow more in Christ over the next couple of months. Honduras is going to be a real test of my faith, and I cannot wait. :)

So, I've become utterly obsessed with the song I posted about yesterday. Not only do I have a total voice crush on Brad Paisley, but I LOVE the message sent in this song. I basically have it on repeat whenever I'm at my computer. The words are simple, but they are so powerful. I'm going to try and see if I can post a link on here of it...the song makes me think so much about God's plans. I don't understand His plans at all. But I don't think I'm supposed to. That's the beauty of His love for me, and the beauty of childlike faith. So often I question what God's plans are for me. So often I wonder why He lets certain things happen in my life. But honestly, how can I even begin to question his plans for my life compared to the plans he had for Jesus? I cannot even imagine what was going through Jesus' head when he was praying in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus knew that whatever happened was to fulfill God's will. He had complete faith in His Father...It's because He knows the outcome. Of everything.  He knows what I want/need, and He is going to provide me with whatever is best for me. Because he knows. Jeremiah 29:11. He makes everything new. Including me. And just that thought alone makes me want to fall down on the floor and cry my eyes out. I'm so incredibly selfish, but He gave it all for me. He sent His only Son for me. For the world. He created us...and had the most elaborate plan all laid out, and His will was done. That just amazes me and leaves me without words.

I read something this morning from a book I got for Christmas that really struck me. The book is called Promises and Prayers for Dedicated Teachers.  The entry for today was about trusting God's timing. Ha ironic since that is what I've been struggling with for quite some time now. It basically was saying that I need to be patient as a teacher. I need to teach my students to be patient in an impatient world. I am their guide, and I need to show Christ to them...one way I can do that is to just be patient with them. Slow to anger. And not anxious.
There were a few verses in the reading that I really liked.

Psalm 27:14, Wait for the Lord; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the Lord.
Acts 1:7, He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority."

It's amazing how just yesterday I started this blog...but already I feel like I am accomplishing my goals. Maybe it is too soon to say, but...this could actually work!!

I read Acts chapters 12 and 13 for women's group tonight. I wasn't enjoying Acts at first, but the more I'm reading it, the more I'm starting to get into it and have questions. The Holy Spirit is everywhere in this book! It's frustrating because I don't feel like I really get the concept of the Holy Spirit. Is it just a manifestation of God? Do people see it, or is it a feeling? I'm so confused on this subject. In many instances the Bible says that the people were filled with the Holy Spirit, like at Pentecost in Acts chapter 2. What exactly does this mean? The Holy Spirit also is said to send people places...so is it a feeling or does it come in a vision or a dream or something? Is it the Holy Spirit that allows the disciples to conduct miracles? I think these are questions I need to be asking someone more knowledgeable than myself...maybe I'm being too literal?
I was also reading some out of Matthew because, since watching the Passion a few weeks ago and listening to Dan's sermon Sunday, I've become really interested in revisiting the 4 Gospels. The Passion stirred up all kinds of questions for me, and I'm learning quite a bit about what Jesus preached on to the people of that time. It amazes me that his teachings are still the same today. That they have survived this long just goes to show that he is legit. :) Honestly, his teachings and the ways that he wants us to act are pretty much common sense. Unfortunately, Satan is out there. And he is doing his best to tempt us away from the way we know we should act. I'm slowly learning that I have to reach out to Christ all the time. I cannot be afraid to ask him for things, no matter how minuscule they may seem.

Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

A prayer for today: Lord, my sense of timing is fallible and imperfect; Yours is not. let me trust in Your timetable for my life, and give me the patience and the wisdom to trust Your plans, not my own. Amen

Check out this video. You won't regret it. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7wEa8YTGhM&feature=related